Dear Dad

The feelings of terror that consume my brain
have left me in horror and now I'm insane.
Every cut that I make, every heart that I break
is nothing compared to the lies that cause ache.
You promised me a life with a family of four
It's now its split to two and there is no more.
You may not finish this all the way through
but these are the things that I thought you knew.
You left me with a mom who was crazy as hell
and you wonder why I start to rebel.
You say I should grow up and grab life by the horns
but I can't grow up when I'm covered in thorns.
I can't control my feelings and actions all the time
but I try to help that by making a rhyme.
While your having fun enjoying the pleasures of life
I sit in bed threatening my wrists with a knife.
You say I have a life that shouldn't be wasted
but you don't understand all the tears that I've tasted.
The tears of pain that roll down my face
and you call me a fucking disgrace.
You've never had it hard because you were a man
with a thought out future and a laid out plan.
Living in misery is so hard to tell
it drives me into the mouth of hell.
I've bent over backward to survive this pain
I hope you understand all I've had to explain.
For everything that has been said
Just be happy I'm not on the floor dead.